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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

fiksi

most people in the art scene i've met will at least once in their lifetime as an artist say something to the effect of... "good art comes from the heart..."

well... my dad name is Minhat. its either the heart is mean, or the heart is mean as in average. in both cases, the heart does not care one bit.

some guys i've met at work struggled to prove how smart they are... and sometimes they will say things like "you are not as smart as you think you are..." to each other. which is funny.

i think trying to prove you are smarter than another is actually quite weak and desperate.

people will usually start with superficial things to justify their existence, to differentiate themselves, like for instance, wealth in general, driving a big car, having a trophy wife... good looks, muscles... when all that aren't available people will fall unto intellectual capacity... "well at least i'm smart..." and when even that isn't available... people will fall back to religion. which is the last line of defence.

"at least aku semayang, ingat tuhan..." yeah. whatever.

whatever it is, if you are working extra hard to justify yourself, to continuously differentiate yourself... you are no different. you are not unique... you are the same... and you are easily defined and predictable.

don't fight it, it's inevitable.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

Scene Works - "KOM - PLOT"

Umi
You, what’s your name again?

Mai Mai
… Mai Mai…

Umi
Mana dia?

MAI MAI POINTS TO THE ROOM WHERE THE BODY OF DATO’ SERI IS.

Umi
Have you called people? [Eats pills like tic-tac]

Mai Mai
Only Baby.

Umi
Good. We don’t want people to know yet. Bila kau telefon?

Mai Mai
A few minutes ago.

Umi
What did he say?

Mai Mai
He’s on the way…

Umi
Did you describe to him what happened to my husband?

Mai Mai
Yes. Roughly.

Umi
Did you tell him, he was stabbed.

Mai Mai
I think so.

Umi
Did you tell him… How many times?

Mai Mai
Errrr… I’m sorry maam, I not sure.

Umi
Not sure – not sure. Hmph. Not sure ke not understand? See Kay, I told you we should’ve hired a real Filipino. What about the police. Anyone called the police yet?

Kay
On the way. Probably. I’m giving them about half hour.

UMI NOTICES DICK.

Umi
Oh my god. Anak sulung. What a surprise. You wanna give Umi a hug?

Dick
Why would anyone do that?

Umi
Sidek. Let’s not do this now. Please. [Stretches her arm]

… AFTER A WHILE UMI IS STILL STRETCHING HER ARM NEEDING A HUG BUT DICK IS JUST STANDING THERE LOOKING LIKE A DICK.UMI GIVE UP AND STUFF PILLS. KAY NOTICES.

Kay
Umi… what’s that you’re eating?

Umi
Pil Migraine.

Kay
Are you sure?

Umi
With some mescaline. I need to open my perception.

Dick
Mak. Ini kematian not some Mesyuarat Persatuan

Kay
Are you drunk too?

Umi
Eh hello, you think I do not know my Islam? I know my Islam ok. Plus. Kalau Umi minum keluar ruam ruam semua kaki, tangan habis. Allergic.

[Pause]

Baby balik macam mana?

Kay
Tumpang kawan

Umi
Hmph

Kay
Umi… stop it.

Umi
What? – Will you stop making excuses for him? How old is he now? Still getting lifts from his friends. Kenapa tanak drive sendiri? Kan ke menyusahkan orang?

Kay
Well - how to drive? He doesn’t have a license.

Umi
Takde lesen. Pergilah amik lesen. How old is he? Even Chimpanzi pun boleh drive kereta... He is what, 21? 30?

Kay
23-lah Umi. Nak amik lesen pun buat apa? He doesn’t even have a car.

Umi
Habis tu kereta yang bersepah-sepah dekat luar tu siapa punya?

Kay
Yours. Mostly. He’s philosophically opposed to ‘driving parents car’

Umi
But he’s still staying with me in my house, tu tak apa pulak?

Kay
Well Umi jugak yang paksa kan? In fact you wanted us all to stay with you right?

Umi
Stop making excuses for him-lah. Apa dia buat sekarang? He’s a what? Dia magician eh ke apa ntah – rite? That’s what I heard. And he blogs too. Why would a magician need a blog?

Kay
He’s a theater actor.

Umi
Theater actor? UuuuuuuUu [To herself]

Dick
Errr… Mai Mai can I get some cookies? [Yells]

Mai Mai
Sure sir.

Kay
Mai Mai no! Eh. What? You think she’s a waitress? How can you eat cookies at times like this.

Dick
Why not?!!

Umi
Kay – let Dick have his cookies will you.

Mai Mai
I’ll go get them

MAI MAI LOOKS FOR COOKIES

Umi
So theater actor… how come he never told me pun?

Kay
He did-lah Umi… I gueess he’s doing well. Started making money for himself already – y’know from the blog.

Baby barged in

Baby
Kay, how did this happen? Have we called the police? Kay? Mai Mai? Where is Mai Mai? Ok- why is everyone still looking at me.

EVERYONE IS STILL STARING AT HIM AWKWARDLY

Kay
Apesal lambat?

Dick
Macam timun!

Baby
-I was from a play, Dick.

Umi
Have you eaten?

Baby
Umi ni takde benda lain ke nak tanya?

Umi
Tengoklah tu. Oh my godddddddd… bahasaaa…


Baby
Fine! - I had dinner. And supper. Already. Now can we stop discussing about my gastronomical conditions?

MAI MAI COMES IN WITH A COOKIE JAR FOR DICK. DICK GRABS THE COOKIE JAR.

Dick
Ok. This is where I split.I don’t wanna watch this!

Kay
Errrr… I guess I need to look for … tudung y’know cover up and all. I’ll be in the room.

DICK LEAVES. KAY LEAVES.

Umi
Baby, why so rude? Why are you doing this? Why can’t you be like… the Siamese?

Baby
Huh?

Umi
Y’know Siamese are the most polite people. That’s why they’ve never been colonised. – I think.


Baby
Oh really? But then again when people ruling them are messed up they go and block the airport. I think I could relate to that.

Umi
Bapak kau baru je meninggal… sekarang tinggal mak sorang, can’t you be nice? All my kids aren’t nice to me.

And why suddenly you wanna block the airport?

Baby
[STARTS SQUINTING HIS EYES AT HIS MOTHER, REPETITIOUSLY]

Umi
What are you doing?

Baby
Trying to make you disappear.

Umi
Why are you messing up with me? I mean your life.

Baby
What do you mean? I have a great life mak. What about you? Happy?

Umi
Oh stop living your life like this is a classic Tamil movie, “where is happiness? Where is love? Where is the knife?” – You know happiness is sooo middle class – which is why people like me don’t care about being happy. Umi pelikla - Why don’t you go and do something useful, huh? Instead of doing that magician thing whatever you’re doing now. Go-lah become doctor ke, accountant ke, lawyer ke… Benda-benda artsie fartsie ni boleh buat suka-suka, like a hobby.

Baby
Umi – stop saying artsy fartsy. And you do know that I didn’t even graduate kan? They need like exams and certificates for that. Besides, I’m happy with life now.

Umi
As a magician?

Baby
Magician? What are you talking about?

Umi
Whateverlah … can you make money with whatever you doing?

Baby
Can. If people stop asking for free tickets.

Umi
Umi tak faham

Baby
Blargh! See!

Umi
Ok, ok. Umi support. We should all join the circus.

Baby
Huh?

Umi
Ok what, the brother is delusional, wants to kill me, sister can be manager, cause she’s a control freak and you’re the magician.

Baby
Yea. And you’re the clown.

'kasih najihah'

1) i completed a drama work for erma fatima's production. the title of the series is 'kasih najihah' and is a story about najihah (of course it is).

2) some questioned my decision agreeing to do it. most of the time i replied with a smile. or a nonsensical monosyllable like "mm","uh" or "heh"

3) where money is always the case some production houses still strive to maintain dignity in their artwork while some don't (which means as an actor, you're fucked).

4) in a production, the technical team works the hardest for peanut which is unimaginable.

5) as actors, the task most daunting is the 'waiting'. on average you spend more than 60% of your time waiting for your scene.

6) what i enjoyed most about doing a production is the fact that you travel to locations you won't go normally. for instance i now know that there is a serene graveyard in sungai pusu and that the shoplot houses in melawati were broken into partitions and rented out to indonesians and locals at rm 300 which is ridiculously expensive and cruel.

7) ruminah sidek is a fantastic actor.


8) driving home at 3.00 in the morning to go back to the bank for a different life makes me feel like batman.

9) but i am not batman.

10) i am redza minhat. and my initial spells RM.

cheers.

Friday, March 11, 2011

chess

when i was 8 i used to play chess with a guy 7 years older than me.
i beat him most of the time although he was the one who taught me how to play the game.
one day, we were playing chess, i beat him again.
he was pissed that he threw my magnetic chess set to the wall and it broke.
i cried.
he left.
the next day he came to replace the magnetic chess set.
it was a new set.
but it wasn't the same.
i started losing after that.
i kept losing until i lost interest with the game.
when i lost interest with the game, i decided to not be friends with him anymore.

the other day i saw him.
he was working in a petrol station as a pump attendant.
i wanted to go up to him and said hi.
but from the way he looked at me... i'm pretty sure he doesn't remember.

i kinda miss playing chess with him.
but.
i didn't say anything and i just left.

on the way back i was thinking whether he would still win.

you don't mean to be mean. of course!

have you ever crawled up, curled dramatically into a dark space wanting to be left alone because you feel worthless.
well, i have.
when i was 18.
like i crawled up to a dark space in between the window sill and the wardrobe of my room.
and stayed that for about an hour.

i wasn't crying.
crying is for pussies.
i stayed there for an hour feeling nothing.
until i felt something crawled up my pants.
it was a lizard.
probably feeling the same way i did.
worthless.
hence he crawled up into the dark space of my pants.

i took my pants off.
but the lizard stayed in.

and suddenly i didn't feel worthless anymore.
because i didn't have my pants on.
strangely, it felt comfortable only in my underwear.
so comfortable i started writing.
a few years later.
what i wrote because of that lizard was staged.

i haven't seen the lizard.
i hope he is well.
because i am.

shit reading

have you ever been punched in the face?
well.
ive been punched in the face.
by a chinese boy named lee sang chin.
he was tall.
probably the tallest 12 year old in the state of perak.
so like... yea he punched me in the face.
he left a blue black on my left eye.
i told my mom i hit the toilet bowl accidentally.
worst lie ever.
i knew that my mum knew i was lying.
anyway lee sang chin almost died two weeks after he punched me.
he was running to cross the road after he slapped my head from the back.
he was running to cross the road without looking.
a big red lorry almost ran over him.
but it didn't.
i said "damn!"

so yea.
the only time i was punched in the face.
was when i was 12.
by a chinese boy named lee sang chin.
who didn't die in a road accident.

damn...

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

YOUR LOGIC MY LOGIC... it never ends...

for all of you logic fan out there... lets look at this conundrum, right.

so yea, let's just say in this world, eventually we will find out whether there is a God or not. which means there are in the end two ultimate probable scenarios, God, or no God. hence let's just assign a 50 : 50 probability to both scenarios; one being "there is a god" the other being "there is no god".

so right, let's explore it further where if there is a God, hence heaven and hell exist while in a world where God does not exist, everyone will sort of turn to dust when they pass on. so we break it down further into the God scenario of heaven and hell or the no God scenario where you turn to dust.

right! so based on binomial path, probability of heaven occuring in this scenario is about 25%, 25% hell and 50% turning to dust summarised in a tacky diagram below courtesy of my graphic designer(sorry it was hard to explain how to draw binomial path over the phone)



so here is the conundrum, knowing that there is a 25% chance that there is an eternal heaven compared to the other two options of eternal condemnation or futility... using pure logic which path would you take?

of course, a logic process entails asking what you need to give up to choose that 25% chance of a heaven existing. in this case the answer is most of the time submitting to a religion. that is what you need to pay.

so yea, back to the question... will you give it a shot?

if you think about it for a second, weighing the odds, for a believer if God does not exist, he'll turn to dust anyway similarly to a non believer, but if God exist then perhaps you'll end up in heaven. so the opportunity cost is... perhaps missing on all the fun things you should have done like i don't know, raping a monkey for instance.

so... using logic, the path conundrum, which one?

cheers.

Monday, March 07, 2011

pointers for the next two weeks

a facebook status i came across recently read; "i'd rather be an interesting fuck up than a successful bore." - you are only as interesting as your audiences and to be a fuck up is pretty easy.

"because i can..." is my only answer when people question why i choose to speak in english most of the time.

i believe that the term 'escapism' describes 'fleeting happiness' quite well. i am philosophically opposed to anything 'fleeting' and hence the term 'escapism' as well.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ , ! "" ? <--- some people commented that i wrote without caps and at times without punctuation marks. so here you go, i have provided all the capital letters you need with some of your favourite punctuations. salt and pepper at will.