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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

they will kill us all.

amir told me that almost everyone in the jakarta prison owns blackberry.
and there, in the prison - money talks, and bullshit runs marathon.
and everyone's on facebook.
on fuckin facebook.
i wonder if that guy who bombed bali has facebook.

i was thinking - that, that... the whole story - pretty much describes people in the bank.
everyone has berry.
everyone talks about money.
and everyone talks about predicting the future of money and shit like that.

there was once i was in a meeting with these guys from dubai.
about billions of cash they wanted to borrow.
man, sitting with them in that meeting room is like listening to girls planning for hen nite.
not everyone knows what they are talking about - but everyone's so excited.
one ultimate itinerary is perhaps getting a guy and strip him naked.
and in this case, the guy being the one lending money.

and that. people.
is why the world is so fucked these days.

storm is brewing.
i guess somewhere, someone's about to get hurt.
lets hope that someone isn't me.

Monday, November 24, 2008


i was running numbers on hk property market when suddenly...
i saw what appears to be spurts of love juice on my black pants.
did i just?

its egg white.
i had some for breakfast.

and then i saw a group of teenage rebels.
singing on tv.
they were jumping in unison.
singing song about how they can' be perfect.
in the rain.
on a rooftop.
on a fucking rooftop.

and then there was this girl.
who from afar look like shit.
and from not so far.
still look like shit.
she speaks english with a twang.
im still amazed at how some of us.
y'know turned out to be.
and what we really are deep inside.

and then i thought about.
the brain and the mind.
if the mind is actually the brain.
then we are all morons.
cause brain is an ugly ass shit.
but since we are not all morons
- at least 10% of us
it must be 2 different entities.

the world isn't looking too good nowadays.
if ur still in school.
stay a lil bit longer.

if ur working.
may God save us all.

MONDAY. always a pit of gloom.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

newton said what?

i was dreaming last nite.
i was a country singer in wisconsin.
shufflin my feet singin to the crowd.
then there was this girl among the crowd.
who sang for a teenage post war angst jazz band.
from malaysia.
she asked me if i would wanna appear in her video clip.
i told her.
i don't do auditions though.
she called me hissy diva.
i agreed.
she chuckled.
her manager, a teenager, quarter italian, quarter english, half malay
aspiring - to be american didn't like me much.
cause im american and im so fuckin awesome a country singer.
y'know insecurities and shit like that.
but i went anyway.
to the audition.
she let me listen to her stuff.
it wasn't that great.
made of monosyllables and manic chortels.
there was this particular song.
about relationship.
about taking it slow and shit like that.
it was ok.
i mean relatively.
relative to a retard.
no offence to all retards cause im sure some of them are brilliant.
like when dustin hoffman played rain man.
although, whether or not he's a retard can be argued.
cause autistic ain't retard.
retard or not her song definitely was.
i was listening to the first verse and i already developed gangrene.

at the end of the dream.
the producer told me - i got the role.
but when i found out.
i had to wear cheap shoes, since everything is cheap in that production.
i was like.
"what the fuck? i don't wear cheap shoes!"
and then she slapped me.
her manager kicked me.
and the bassist bitchslapped me and said - some bass guitars have 6 strings.

that was a eureka moment there.
that that was exactly what newton meant when he spoke about the law of inertia.
that if undisturbed, a material body will continue to move in a straight line at a constant speed.
if undisturbed, human beings are all idiots at constant speed until they are slapped in the face.

i woke up this morning feeling a little bit smarter than i was last nite.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

chief is dead

chief is dead.
and that fat IT chick in my department annoyss the hell out of me.
ASTRO killed P Ramlee.
Mislina's comment saying that people are the real power is so cliche.
Kay's Filipino maid doesn't know what cliche means.
Neither do most people around her.
and monkeys.
there were 5 monkeys.
in a room with stairs.
on top of the stairs were bananas.
bananas are linked to a magnetic field.
touch the banana and an ice cold water sprinkler will be triggered.
so when one monkey plucked it, it triggered the sprinkler.
the other 4 monkeys beat the shit out of that monkey.
it went on till it reached a point that any monkey who goes near the stairs will be beaten.
then the monkey was replaced one by one.
they keep beating the crap out of each other.
any monkey who goes near the stairs.
without knowing why.
do you know why?
do you know why you do things you do?
or are you a monkey?

yeah. you are a monkey.
for reading this.

Monday, November 10, 2008

mercy mercy me.

when i was a kid.
there was this ustaz who taught in our evening 'kelas agama'.
somehow, one day we were talking bout dogs.
he told me once in class that, whenever ure chased by a dog.
just shout kithmir.
i was like, "cool!"
cause there was this dog.
a big fuckin black hound.
which looked like a black evil pony.
i had to take the long route back everyday because of that fuckin dog.

so that day... i was like, "kithmir! cool!"
i took the road of death.
there it was.
the black evil pony.
he was staring right into my eyes.
i fuckin stared at him.
i thought, "kithmir man, kithmir"

suddenly dog began to chase me.
i shouted kithmir once.
fuck it didn't work.
shouted again and again.
till i looked like a crazy kid crying while shouting kithmir kithmir kithmir.

the dog made a meal out of me.
stitches and some shots.
in case if it was a rabid hound
i don't know.
thats what the doctor told me.

the following day.
i told ustaz that it didn't work.
the ustaz said, "u fear the dog more than u fear God, u do not have faith in it."
i said, "what the fuck?"
the ustaz slapped me.

on the way home that day.
i took the same route.
i was shit scared.
scared of that big black dog.
but i was keepin faith...
not too sure why, maybe because ustaz slapped me.
cause i said fuck.

but the dog wasn't there.
apparently it was gunned down by a chinese uncle.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


forgive me for being a pessimist.
for being uninterested.
for my lack of passion.
and this self defeating attitude.
forgive me for cursing neverendingly.
for smoking a bit too much.
that i smell like tarpit.
and that i look like shit.

it will change soon.
cause i feel much better now.

Monday, November 03, 2008

don't wanna show you

my dear.
life isn't a structure.
it can't be explained by flowcharts or mathematics.
the science of life isn't objective.
you can't give options and expect us to pick.
like shade fuckin a or shade fuckin b.
there are no fuckin shades.
and let us not argue over it.
cause argument serves no purpose at all.
oftenly the one who wins, is the one who speaks the loudest.
and loudest of course in modern terms is perceived as having a good brain.
but brains, my dear is overrated.
in the long run it is just a confession of weakness cause brains, are developed, when all else have failed - thus, how could you display such vulgarity, even more vulgar than showing your bank account.
and vulgarity.
creates tension.
creates notion behind motion.
motion leading to expression.
your brown eyes blinked.
you look like you're choking.
that was how you looked.
when you saw that black penis.
that black penis.
reflects life.
cause like i said.
life isn't a structure.
its ambiguity beyond us all.

solar and battery

why do we do things we do?
because we love doing it?
because we are good at it?
or because others do it?
and then the talks about incentives.
what will we get out of it.
or do we even need such question?
we do not.
didn't i just say we need not be questioned.
who the fuck says we need to justify our actions?
action is a result of will.
what will need is momentum.
and momentum equals mass x velocity.
you are mass.
life is velocity.
how big the momentum is, depends on those two.
so who the fuck are they, and who the fuck are you to question?

forgive me if i am not part of the herd.

what's the matter morning glory intergalactic fucker

a girl slapped her boyfriend and calls it a gesture of love.
jeff ooi wrote about pigs and calls it liberalisation of malaysians mentality.
you can fuck that girl.
but you can't fuck jeff ooi.
would you fuck that girl? most definitely.
but would you fuck jeff ooi? most definitely not.
that girl wears panties.
so does jeff ooi.
why am i associating that girl with jeff ooi.
fuck - nobody knows. and i myself do not know.
what i do know though.
those people reading jeff ooi's are fuckers as well.
not literally, literally cause perhaps some of them havent' been getting any.

and as for me reading jeff ooi's.
what the fuck do you care.
and what the fuck do i care?
i believe this country needs more of that.
-the what the fuck do i cares-
cause, eventually everybody thinks everybodys stupid anyway.
i think jeff ooi is an idiot, and that dumbfuck doesn't even know me.
if he does, he'll think i'm stupid anyway.
just like you.
you're prolly thinking the same now.

but what the fuck do i care?