## Wednesday, February 28, 2007

### random.

4 shops closing down would also equal 4 empty premises - your calculation assumed that those empty premises will stay empty - which is illogical as in most cases premises will be up and running give or take in 1.2 months.

therefore, assuming - based on your theory that in 10,000 years 146,000 restaurants will go bust, the most coherent deduction would be the churning of 146,000 new businesses. and by safely assuming only 50% of them are in the food business - total restaurants generated by the establishment of 3,650 mamak restaurants would be - 73,000.

to illustrate further, assuming that all 73,000 restaurants are in the area of PJ as one of the highest density area in malaysia, it is most possible that you would find one tom yam shop every 663 square meter - against one mamak shop every 13.3 km square.

apart from that, you might also want to include another variable to your observation- the fact that for every 3 tom yam shops going bust - 5 new ones will be opened.

so there. you might have established a good theoretical framework, but the calculation model is wrong - for the most part of it. mamak will never take over malaysia, there will always be tom yam establisments or medan ikan bakar somewhere around.

thank you for making my sedantary day more interesting.

## Monday, February 26, 2007

### a pig.

for this whole year you can call anyone a pig and it will be taken as a compliment!

### fat ex-girlfriend.

i met a good friend of mine back in college and he told me about how he bailed out from a long term relationship a couple of years back because the girl was fat. actually i didn't believe him at first as she was pretty slim when i met her, i mean, how fat could she be? that was when he showed me her latest picture - i had to agree.

i told him that sometimes serious relationship does that to you while smiling out of pretence.
"i asked her so many times to at least shed a few kilos off so that she'll look good for our wedding! even her mother agreed with me! but of course - she insisted that inner beauty is most important and that there is more to life than just going on diet. and that she's really happy!"

i felt for him right away. i told him that his girlfriend was trapped in a happy circle - that she eats when she's happy and when she eats, she feels happier and she eats some more. there is no stopping this. it's definite, it's a loop! (refer diagram below)

and its worse especially when she listens to christina aguilera - here is what she sang,

I am beautiful no matter what they say Words can't bring me down I am beautiful in every single way Yes, words can't bring me down So don't you bring me down today -

errr...

"so she stayed fat, and we argued a lot over that and it became depressing. i had to tell her it's not working out like this."

you see, as my friend here is a pilot, now that had seriously aggravated his situation what with the stewardesses and all, and i totally, totally felt for him. i told him that although it might be true that beauty is only skin deep but for a fat girl, it's a deep search within (cyanide & happiness) - and that he was right to dump her.

you must by now think that we are both assholes. that my thought on this is whimsical.

i choose to disagree.

not surprisingly, the fat ex-girlfriend became depressed and unless you are clinically psychotic, you start to put things into perspective when you feel down. and from then on fat ex girlfriend became adamant to lose weight and she did. even better, she even came out in a tv ad recently!

and my friend here, being a classic asshole that he is, called her up asking whether is there any chance for them to patch things up. and not surprisingly too fat ex girlfriend (who is now slim and hot, hot, hot btw.) told him to 'go eat shit.'

seemingly fair, isn't it? but then again, what if, just what if - fat ex girlfriend worked her way to become slim for her boyfriend in the first place. that would've been more ideal isn't it? i mean, why do they need to go through all that while in fact the results would've been the same eventually - in fact, it could've been even better? - they could've been married by now!

harrumph.

so, who's the bigger asshole actually...

otter?

hmmmm...

## Wednesday, February 21, 2007

### anti hero

this photo was recently taken, exactly two weeks after the hot water scalding incident (refer recent entry titled - 'YEAOWW'). - since it happened, i have been staring at the mirror in frustration day in-day out until one time while i was at it, i suddenly felt suffocated, and then i vomited foam-like liquid.

because i was having difficulty breathing i said, "God, help me!" but then i thought, "i haven't been much grateful of late. maybe this is a lesson." i tried calming myself down, tried doing the sitting meditation exercise which i have been practising, along with the tantric kegel exercise i learned online."

but my legs were so stiff i could not cross them - i ended up sitting with my legs strewn about. after quite a while, i felt a surge of warmth entering the top of my head and peppermint-like cold air flowing from my head to my chest - soon my breathing returned to normal. everything was normal right until i saw the image on the mirror. which really put things into perspectives. not one perspective but a few of them - joined together as many-many lines forming a structure. a structure so godly that it swallows a man and a man becomes a substance of just another branch amongst many-many branches of ideas.

it made me realised, that my existence is just another trivial idea that branches out from the whole idea of existence. its like karl marx is an idea. thomas more is an idea - and these ideas branch out from the same tree of humanity. and on each branch, there are leaves growing on them, and these leaves are actually sections, sections that provide meaning for monkeys to cling onto it - and these monkeys hang on to these branches of ideas trusting them with their life, move from one branch to the next until they let go or fall sick and die. all monkeys die first, leaving the branches behind. and when branches die. the tree dies. and when tree dies - everything dies and becomes a parrot.

this is a picture of a parrot. and it has no meaning. this bloody parrot was there in my room.

by the way, last night, as i was watching my recent work raped to utter indignity - i thought to myself.

"hey! at least it is not as badly written as those indonesian soap operas. heh! those uncharacteristically excited indonesians. (should be gunned down. all of them) <--- this part of the thought is a silent thought."

## Thursday, February 15, 2007

### margins.

look what i found.
that's my name.
on the poster.
together with some other names
i do not know of.
actually if you discount a lot of factors.
i am not too bad, really.
it's just that...
unfortunately,
the world doesn't come with discounts.

## Sunday, February 04, 2007

### YEAOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!

"Great Success!!!" - Borat Sagdiyev