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Friday, January 30, 2009

50 cents worth of caper



Are you... are you there?



You are wrong. This is not a prologue. This is not even anything. This is an ode to “you will not like me – but please give this dimwit a chance”.

Actually what I wanted to say is. It’s just 50 cents.

Which is why I think you should listen.

To start with. i cut throats. drink blood worship demons wear make up. And so ugly that in some part of this country, some people would’ve mistaken me for a goat – which is ironic cause I worship goats too which technically means I worship myself – now that sounds about right but not necessarily appropriate.

Ok. I was being dramatic. I shouldn’t do that. I know you hate it when I do that.

I also remember when you told me. i will never be a good father for your children.

they will all be. Bad politicians and corrupt policemen

If not, they would be criminals, perverse… who stole money but they wont give it to the poor. cause my sons arent walking cliches

Since we all conform. i will have to take care of you in your sickness – I guess. But the deal is… I guess i wont change the bedsheet. If you are unable to walk to the bathroom – and soiled ur pants.

Cause I’m allergic. To your shit – which could be both literal and metaphorical. u see. if im sick too then nobody would be there to take care of you. but then again that would speed up the "death do us part" part – I guess you could relate to that.

but we'd be rich you know. cause i have this scam. of becoming filthy rich. we will both grow fat but people around us would still call us ‘nice looking power couple’. cause we are – well, rich.

theyd even put us on ‘Tattlers’ magazine cover for several editions.

oh, i know. this is the part where you correct me saying Tatler is spelled with only one 't'.

ok. i digressed. where was I?

oh. I was about to say, then we will send our children overseas and theyd become good elite people. some would be homosexuals because they are sexually liberated and of course, since it’s a trend these days. Reminds me on how much you intellectually disagree about homosexual forms of art. Fuck that shit you know, cause there is nothing intellectual about being gay.

Anyway – the kids. From our hard earned money we built a trust that will send them away. some to melbourne, some to sydney,some to perth since australia is very cheap, and some perhaps to lim kok wing for the – well whatever Lim Kok Wing strives for and the rest maybe universiti Malaya or ukm – y’know living true to the spirit of national agenda

whatever the outcome is, all that is another brilliant set-up to push them up another class so they would become good elite people

[long sigh]

I am weak, I know and I am a big hypocrite.

I have to blame it all on my social background, these generic emotions of wanting more and more was generated by the fact that I grew up as a poor puritan among so many wealthy, hedonistic preppies – when I was a kid.

all my life ive been influenced, by money, by wealth and by the lives of those who “made it” and their accoutrements – their Bukit Bandaraya mansions, KLCC view condos, yachts and private jets. I am a victim. I am being victimised by such erroneous system, the system that celebrates gluttonous consumption of the earth’s resources - that I consume, consume, consume and give nothing back. I am a sad case. I am a tragedy; it’s like watching a train getting derailed slowly.

And then suddenly, “POOF!” like in the old black and white movies where the idea of the story does not move in tandem with the movement speed of the reel, a mak cik clad in a purple tudung appeared in front of me, purple smoke all over… she uttered,

“Tau takpe.”

I’m not saying that makcik is you you know.

That makcik has no parallel trajectory to whatever point I’m trying to point out.

‘point I’m trying to point out.’

Yes. I like to repeat myself. Don’t hold me hostage for that.


are u even there?

Don’t worry, im about to finish.

you see then, when the kids are away. we would both fight

about that other man, about that other woman. About how we actually hate each others face. And how I think that you’re just a druid while you think I’m a fruit.


at times, i might be a little perverse. I admit.

but trust me, you are the only woman in my life

you dont believe me. i know.

Oh! Trust.

Ah! That part.

thats when you decided to say no when i proposed yesterday.


We could start over you know.

cause I love you. I really do.

but im screwed.

and i ran out of things to say.

Actually I ran out of coin.

So call back. I miss you.


Anonymous said...

dejavu...aren't we?


Anonymous said...

you are different ... I mean, your style of writing. like the way it goes ... hate your @*&£$*@@ words

Anonymous said...

there is nothing intellectual about being gay,
so fucking true.