Malaysian football sucks.
That's a nasty way to open and I know it has been said many many times, but of course, after again witnessing the latest development, it had to be said somewhat shamefully.
Consider this: when the whole nation’s agenda is to beat the shit out of its own national football team, something is damn wrong and rotten with the country.
And its not only football.
While we were all sitting in front of the 41’ tv, fat and bloated after gorging ourselves on a heavy diet of bland and tasteless malaysian football, remote control resting on our swollen bellies, flicking from one mind-numbing Piala Malaysia to another, a godly virtuoso realised the pattern and quick to formulate a master plan.
The idea is simple, to bring fourth the drama, i.e. all these small-people-talks about disappointment, anger and hatred and then stage it as one of the biggest showdown in the needless to say; biggest stadium in the country.
At first it might sound like a brilliant brilliant idea but to whom? if we scratch deeper, like picking scabs off the dried wound, the real lopak comes out.
MyTeam is actually a business model capitalising on an arbitrage opportunity. In other words, riskless profit.
With minimum capital and operational spending and with most expenses can be deferred or be offset by sponsors, the RETURNS are strategically ginormous.
Lets put things into perspective and consider the three definitive outcome scenarios: win lose or draw. (Unless if both teams suddenly start beating the crap out of each other causing a big riot which leads to civil war, and the country goes bankrupt. God forbids.)
If myTeam wins, it would be the biggest setback to Malaysia as a footballing nation. Proves to show how FAM and its highly celebrated system can be easily NULLIFIED in less than 3 months led by a Futsal Carpet Trader, who knows more about the English Premier League than the M-League itself, who is not even a certified coach, (at the point of writing).
Players of myTeam will live the rest of their life to remember the day, they beat their own country to crumble in shame nad maybe a few would be absorbed into the state squads, perhaps. Hmmm… not bad ey? And for the people, errr… well, the maximum loss would be the RM10 tickets paid to watch the game LIVE, otherwise… na da! Except maybe a brief feeling, how it feels like to win against a bigger, stronger entity / party. and maybe proving a point.
If Malaysian Team wins, by very very little margin, the effect would be pretty much the same as per above. But if they manage to pull it off with a big margin, say 7-0, most would still congratulate myTeam for their fighting spirit.
And I am sure some Terry Hendra Lee from Kampar will say “Alah… boleh aaaa, belasah… team budak budak”
And a draw… ugh, this deserves a big yawn after all the hype and i refuse to discuss although somehow, I really that think this is the most possible outcome.
To draw a conclusion, we have been robbed, by a deceitful, shadowy cartel of money-mongers and they did so right under our noses which is OK, since the world is one hell of a big CON-JOB anyway. And for that I have to say kudos to all involved for all the hardwork. This is one of the best marketing plan ever which gives us very very twisted outcome in a lot of ways.
As a footballing nation we have been living in dark ages for the past decades, stagnant and on a constant low in terms of international achievement. However under the everything is BOLEH maxim, we never give up hope in light of this, despite all the jeers and mineral bottles ready to be shoved up the players arses, some of us still care about football.
To prove it, I have got with me right now 4 tickets to watch myTeam versus Pasukan Malaysia this coming May 28. Although I am still contemplating whether to go or stay back at home and finish my reading for the exam or help my friend train a monkey, in hope to further reduce outsourcing cost in Malaysia by using Monkeys as manpower.
Who knows we might help to topple India or maybe even China in next year’s AT Kearney’s rating.
Sorry I digressed. I mean that, or watch myTeam live.
Anyhow, as usual, I would like to quote someone, since quoting makes me feel important.
“COME ON BOYS, MAKE MALAYSIA PROUD!” (by kicking Malaysia’s ass) tony fernandes, ceo air asia.
And to whom interested for tickets, please give me a call, I might have a few extras.