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Wednesday, November 16, 2005


why do i loathe thee.
there are about more than 300 million whys.
more recently... when you animatedly discussed
about the equality of rights between gender
freak association with beauty
as well as applications of chemical substances to get rid of fat

to which i smiled and said nothing

why do i loathe thee
there are about 300 million whys
which adds up another 100 million everyday.

Sigh*... Thy intellectuality
I think I shall only love and not loathe thee better after thy death.


bought a watch. swiss made.
what's so great about swiss watches anyway?you could get a copy anywhere nowadays. a watch, be it swiss made or anywhere other; shows time. Time is divided naturally by striking astronomical phenomena such as; the periodical renewal of the seasons, the phases of the moon or the regular succession of day and night.
what's so great about time anyway?would the world be different if the clocks ran the other way? and time. deceives all the time. it could be dawn here but dusk somewhere other. its nothing but boring deadlines and dates by which bills have to be paid. all the good things in the world are timeless anyway. time waits for no man but today, men turn it around: they wait not for time... ye boastful self satisfied men.
what's so great about being men anyway?successful men, men of many failures, average men, they are all the same.mark twain said man is a religious animal. so religious that he is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and then cuts his throat, if his theology isn't straight or different. but then again, all men are bastards and like myself most, are pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-deep gobbledygook individuals. if they are not, they are just sensitive. or gay.but then again men affect women. with money, looks, love, science or mathematics. and this is undeniably true. so true that women are denying it already.
what's so great about being women anyway?suppose you were a woman... and you were great? wait, i'll repeat myself, suppose you were a woman, and suppose you were an elephant, then i wouldn't want to own you. but i'll look at you with fascination. some women have very little idea of how much men love them. but most of them... very little idea of how much men hate them.
so, what's so great about swiss watches anyway?


one night.
i was standing in the yard when i saw a light above me so bright. suddenly a purple rocket ship landed in front of me. there he was a green headed 5'2 exactly as how people always describe them. he gave me a glass of water so blue like the colour of the sky. and after that i couldn't remember anything. the next thing i know i was inside that purple rocket ship, flying up and down over towns and cities. there were not many passengers in the ship. i sat beside an indian chief with arrows stuck to his head.he said to me.
"my name is big nugget. i survived through 451 battles. i died at the age of 142. i died heart-broken. i used to think that these two arrows would be the most painful thing a man could ever bear but its nothing compared to being heart-broken."
He didnt seem to interest me that much after that. Instead, I looked outside at the view of the town Sentul, particularly Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Center, the epitome of commercialism in disguise! suddenly..
"hello, my name is Rosie. a bohsia from sentul. why are you so angry? i could help you with your problems. you just need to breathe properly and maybe if you pay me well enough i'd let you see my socks!"
"press this button to get rid of bohsia sentul"
in a whoosh, Rosie was thrown off the rocket. i think it was somewhere in ampang. near darby park. she should find home there.there was also the "press this button to get rid of the scary indian chief with arrows stuck to his head" button. but i chose to spare the chief.
funny how i did not at all feel scared or weird. most of me felt liberated and relieved. relieved to be leaving my life as a slave to such contemptible system where everyone wants to be a pilot or sit for professional papers. stop checking my grammar!
suddenly there was this loud high pitch sound in my head saying,
"stop explaining yourself! and stop looking like an idiot, you won't find me cause i am in your mind"
"in my mind?"
"stop repeating your thoughts. you are only killing your braincells by replicating them. and sorry to disappoint but there is no such button. you wish life is as easy as pushing buttons here and there don't you?! too bad. too bad your step father threw you away from home last year. by the way make yourself at home please. and i will join you in a while. and please stop swearing!"
suddenly from the panel, i saw my house in perak. and my mum. gardening. she loves gardening. and then there he was the step dad. that fervent bastard. the one who virtually took my name off the family tree. i am going to kill him someday. i will. i will. i will. i will cut him to small little pieces, put him in a blender and flush him down the drain.
not to worry, as a muslim we believe in the pahala recognition model: niat saja tanpa perbuatan belum boleh direcognise sebagai dosa.
"good god. how many times do we have to say hello in this purple rocket ship?!"
"my name is d. everyone in my planet is named according to each letter used on earth. when we did a study on your planet, we were quite impressed with the 26-letter system. clean slate unlike the one we have back in our planet, with 2,090,098 letters. yes, my kindergarden life was hell. do you know that only 26 martians can afford to have name at one time, one dies one gets a name, its like the 'tun' system you have back in your planet.. i was lucky to get the letter d you know. the earlier d died minutes before i was born. and since my father knew somebody in the "child registration department" we need not be in the waiting list or bribe anyone!"
wow. shes the most beautiful green headed girl i've ever seen.
"yes. i know everyone thinks i'm the most beautiful green headed girl they've ever seen!"
"stop that!"
"i can't help myself. anyway, what are you good at? i'm a psychologist and also an expert in building exhibition booths using holograms! Unfortunately i failed economics! I hate economics. only politicians have to be good in economics."
"and why is that?"
"because there is no right or wrong in economics! only theories which speak louder than the other. the same thing in politics!"
"hmmmm... smart martian girl."
"how do you know i'm martian?"
"i was assuming. your ..."
"green tits? i know. aren't they nice? yet, assumptions are dangerous!"
"i was actually referring to your head. where are we going anyway?"
"back home... your new home. we will be married as soon as we land"
"not to worry. you have my father's blessing!"
"your father?"
"K. the one who gave you the blue drink, so blue like the colour of the sky."
"my family's paying!"
"yes! we will then produce as many crossbreed offsprings possible. in your planet they would equal those mix caucasianesque looking pretty boys and girls!"
i smiled that doesn't sound bad, relatively compared to my life back on earth. although i had no idea where we were heading. looking outside, i could see nothing anymore, we had left earth for good. at the background, i could hear the Indian Chief singing "Castles Made of Sand" which went something like this...

A little Indian brave, who before he was ten played war games in the woods with his Indian friends. And he built a dream that when he grew up he would be afearless warrior Indian Chief. Many moons passed and more the dream grew strong, until tomorrow he would sing his first war song and fight hisfirst battle. But something went wrong, surprise attack killed him in his sleep that night!
And so castles made of sand, melts into the sea, eventually...
i woke up. cried my way to work that morning.